Happy Birthday Jill!

It was Jill’s 40th birthday yesterday. We had celebrated “her day” last weekend with good food, friends, and bit too much wine, but yesterday was her “official” day. It sounded as if she was having a good day (which I’m thankful) and enjoying herself. Turning 40 can be a “big deal”, but as a member of this group, I can speak with some authority, that you can completely enjoy your 40’s and I tried to share my thoughts with Jill over the past few months as her day approached.

Someone told Jill that it would be very depressing for her to turn 40 and be without a job. Who says? Where is the book that tells us that we have to have a job each year our birthday rolls around? What book says that we have to feel horrible when a milestone event in our life occurs and we are not in what others perceive as the “right” situation? I must have missed both of these books (I'm off to the library to find them).

Obviously this person is not in her 40’s, or if she is among our fabulous group of 40-somethings, then she doesn’t get it. I told Jill that turning 40, and not having a job, is okay (maybe not ideal, but life will still go on) and that she should enjoy this point in her life regardless. Life does not have guarantees that certain things happen at certain times – not everyone gets married for the first time in their 20’s, not every woman has children, and if you have never been laid off, there are no guarantees that you won't be at some point in your life. We are not given a clear road map and there are bumps and turns along the way that you can’t control. So Jill now has options. She can sit around and be miserable, sad about tuning 40 and without a job (which by the way….she is not alone in the 40 and jobless category) or she can look at turning 40 as an amazing opportunity to celebrate, do something different, set a new course in life, start her own business or keep slugging away looking for work, laugh, dance when everyone is looking (Jill’s a great dancer), and embrace her 40’s.

I’m betting that Jill will take the latter.

When handing out advice (regardless if it's good or bad) you need to think about what you are saying and how it impacts the person on the other end. God knows, I’m not saying you should soften your message before delivering it in efforts to not hurt feelings, but you should stop and make certain that this advice you are handing out isn't more for your situation (or fears) then for the person receiving your wisdom.

Jill's birthday has come and gone, she is 40 and she is without a job – now what can the friend say? Personally, as her friend (for the last 14 years), I wish Jill a great 40th year. I hope she finds a job (for the sake of others). But more importantly, I wish her happiness, love, a continued great relationship with her husband Ron, lots of dog kisses, and that she finds a great sense of satisfaction and fulfillment in her life – especially now that she is 40.

Happy Birthday Jill!

Favorite Quote, by Janet

Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Staying Motivated, by Janet

I’ve gained 8 pounds over the last year and I’m certain most of the weight packed on happened since I lost my job (now 2 months ago). Yikes, I need to get this in control. Nothing wrong with gaining weight (because it happens) but when you are gaining because you are doing nothing all day but sitting at the computer looking for work and grazing in the kitchen, there is something that needs to be addressed (for me it is a job and food).

Unemployment has its moments where it can suck every ounce of motivation out of every cell in your body. You can’t understand this unless you are living through unemployment (trust me). It’s overcoming these unmotivated moments and building from them that will change the situation.

Over the last few weeks my motivation has swayed a bit. Although I try to fight it, I’ve noticed that I’m challenged more often as the weeks of unemployment pass. I thought I’d have a job by now (everyone who's unemployed thinks this) and I realize now that it could be months before it does. This realization was a blow to my ego. With each passing week without the ability to interview, each network opportunity that fizzles down to nothing, and with each resume sent into the black hole called “apply now” and you hear nothing back, you have to find new strength.

It's funny to watch how motivation changes week after week. I started out (week one) thinking being laid off was good for me. It was the change I needed to find the right (better and more rewarding) job. Now (week eight) I've started having moments of panic, counting every penny, and then I started doing too many (wrong) things to find a job. I lost my focus and my motivation was living in a dish of ice cream. This week I made myself stop, regroup, look at my finances, reevaluate what was important and what career path that I really want to take, and I stepped up my daily exercise regime (which was screaming for help). I’ve meet with a good friend who is a “PR expert” and we are creating a new way to get the attention of people wanting to hire someone for marketing, sales, and/or the other talents I posses.

By taking action and regaining control I have felt a new wave of motivation. I realize now I will have to keep adjusting things to keep my motivation steady, but I'm committed to doing so. This I'm certain will help me find work and drop the “unemployment pounds” I’ve gained.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend! Don’t forget to thank those in the military and their families for fighting for our freedom.

Good Boss | Bad Boss, by Janet

We’ve all had a good boss. The boss that we still talk about because he or she was great at their job, understood what it took to motivate, inspire, reward, and push during tough times to build a team. And, we’ve all had a bad boss at one time in our career. The guy or gal we try to erase from our memories because they lacked leadership and made continuous bad decisions that in the end, harmed the company…but for some reason they still remain on some company’s payroll and I’m the one out looking for work (go figure).

I’ve been a “boss” most of my life and I believe the people who I have managed appreciated my leadership style (I guess if they didn’t, they’ll comment on this blog). I’m still a “boss”, but due to my unemployment status, I’m now the boss of one. At a recent staff meeting it was unanimously determined that I would take the role of a “good” boss. I have to be a good leader. I have to apply the key traits of my favorite mentors and incorporate them to this situation.

As my “boss” I’m dedicated to walking-the-walk and talking-the-talk to live a positive (and happy) life. This means I dedicate time to read and reflect on inspirational work; to find and connect with people (both working and not working); to spend quiet times with my husband (talking and listening about all things happening in our lives) and I must hug my beautiful stepdaughters (because I never thought I’d have children to share my life with). I work hard to keep myself (and my friends also seeking work) motivated. I allow myself to laugh, and in all honesty to cry. I listen to others and I’m present to everyone and anyone I come in contact with. I keep telling them (and in turn, me) that it’s all going to be okay (because it will be).

I refuse to bring forward the traits and emotional baggage of the “bad boss”. Instead I’ve embraced my unemployment destiny by using the same passion, humor, and energy that my favorite bosses (Chuck Pecoraro with Great American, Rebecca Sonniken and Carol Walden with the Hahn Company, and Tad McMurray – my very first boss at Tastee Freeze) did. These "good bosses" taught me that you must rise above disappointments, overcome challenges, fight for what is right, and you will come back better (and stronger) because of it.

Peace.

Find a Hobby, by Janet

I love a good “arts and craft” project (don’t roll your eyes). With time on my hands (thanks to being unemployed), having a hobby helps me feel productive (and in all honesty, useful).

If I'm not looking for work and/or out networking, I work on a project to keep my mind and hands busy. I’m in the middle of embroidering dish towels (very old school but its therapeutic), I started this blog with my dear friend Jill, and, my latest “hobby” is making stuff animals out of old gloves (the picture is an example of what I’m trying to accomplish…it’s not my work…I have to give credit to Dr. Paul Broadman).

The patterns come from Miyako Kanamori and her book “Happy Gloves” (also the author of Sock and Glove). I’ve decided to make these very adorable stuffed animals and when I have a large quantity (more than one) I’ll box them up and deliver them to a local children’s organization or hospital. I am working on the details of where they can go - details to follow.

If you would like to help me with this project you can make some of these very cute “friends” on your own and mail them to me, or you can just send me your old gloves. I'll do everything else. I’m specifically in need gloves that are made of acrylic or another material that is elastic. If you send me gloves you no longer wear (this would be ideal since you will not be getting them back) I will make a “friend” and I will embroider your name on the finished product.

If you can donate please add a comment and I’ll send you my mailing address (if you don’t already have it).

Thanks.

Good Health, by Janet

May is my month for my annual Doctor appointments (all the “girl” stuff). I schedule them in May in honor of my mom (Evelyn). She will be 76 years young in a few weeks. So having my annual appointments in May reminds me to celebrate another year with her and another year of good health (hopefully).

Today was my day, and as I’ve said, on Friday’s I will be doing other things (for me, my family, my friends, my church, or my community) besides hunt for work. I’m not sure this is how I wanted to spend my Friday, but I’m glad I did.

A highlight of my various appointments was that I had my mammogram at the new Invision Sally Jobe office. It’s a beautiful new office on Belleview just a mile east of I-25 (Greenwood Village, Co). Each step of the process during my appointment was handled professionally. From the check in, to getting my robe, to the beautiful changing and waiting rooms and the kind staff, it was a nice experience.

Make certain you have your mammogram every year (especially for those of us 40 and older) and if you can, I highly recommend that you go there – you’ll love it.

The lowlight was being told I’ve gained 8 pounds this past year. I blame that on being happily married.

Happy Friday, I’m out for a walk and to eat a rice cake.

Save as a Draft, by Jill

We all have been there, at least those of us willing to admit it. You know the times when someone - friend, co-worker, boss or relative - sends you an email that infuriates you. You’re so wound up that you can feel the anger rise in your face like you had just spent a day in the sun with no sunscreen. Feeling mad with an overwhelming need to express yourself, you write a response. You use ALL CAPS, boldface type and lots of #$!!. Then you hit the send button – a moment of “Ha! Take that!” Then a moment later, “Oh no, what have I done?” Unless you have Gmail, which has a new panic button that gives you three-five seconds to stop sending, you don’t get a take back.

If you are guilty of sending under the influence of anger, here’s a solution for the next time you are faced with this issue. I like to call this rule “save as a draft.” Yes I know, I did not coin this phrase but I have taken it and made it my own. Next time you are overcome with anger and start to type furiously pounding away at the keyboard, take a moment and do this - remove everyone’s name from to be sent lines; finish typing the email and then walk away from it. Go back and review it after counting to 10, waiting several minutes or whatever you need to bring down your blood pressure. Once you have reached a more Zen-like state and still agree with what you wrote, then send it. Then again, you may let the calmer state-of-mind prevail and choose to re-write it. If you are still unsure, keeping saving as a draft. You are likely to go through many versions of the email until you get it right or decide not to send it at all.

Before sending any email please keep this in mind – once an email is sent it is memorialized and cannot be erased or undone. Don’t let a brief moment of anger or weakness takeover and make you send something that you will be sorry for later. Take the high road when possible, you will be the better person for it.

TGIF (I hate the saying, but it works), by Janet

It’s another Friday. I hope you had a good week. Speaking on behalf of Jill, we did too. We had a few good laughs together, networked, blogged, and made connections.

Before I call it a day, I did work on seeking employment. But now I'm off to enjoy the rest of my day. Darin returned home from his latest travels late last night. He's at the office right now but later today we are going to put up a new fence at my home in NW Denver while my fabulous renters are in Kauai.

You may be asking yourself…"does the excitement ever end with us?" The short answer is “no”. Hopefully, I can talk Darin into going to one of our favorite eating establishments in the area after we complete the first part of a two part task. I have a hankering for My Brother’s Bar (amazing JCB – jalapeño and cream cheese burger), Brick House BBQ (yummy brisket), or Edgewater Inn (fabulous pizza). If you have not been to these places, go. You won’t regret.

Have a great day.